


The Answer Is You

by TheNorthRemembers



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Secret Relationship, Singapore, Worlds 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 07:58:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6230209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNorthRemembers/pseuds/TheNorthRemembers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deft and Rekkles hang out after giving an interview together during the group stages of World's 2014. Feelings are being discussed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Answer Is You

It’s September 2014 and Martin is in the city of Singapore for the first time in his life. It’s the group stages of this year’s League of Legends world championship and it’s more than a little nerve wrecking. The thing is though; it’s not just that that makes Martin’s heart beat like crazy. There is something else. _Someone_ else. And this someone else is no other than the star adc, Kim “Deft” Hyukkyu, of the enemy team Samsung Blue, who just happens to be walking beside Martin right now, so close that if Martin just moved a little more to the left, just leaned in a bit their shoulders might brush.

 

 

But Martin is not going to do that. He thinks he might die of embarrassment if he did. It’s quite ridiculous, this crush he managed to develop for the Korean by over such a short period of time. But that’s how it is.

 

 

They walk side by side quietly after Hyukkyu had not reacted to any of Martin’s attempts to string up a conversation. The Korean boy seemed to be deep in thought and just the occasional glance he shot Martin’s way now and then proved that he was even aware of Martin’s presence.

 

 

The silence made Martin nervous. He had to wipe his sweaty palms on his jeans more than once while waiting for Hyukkyu to say something, for something to happen. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Why else would the silence between them feel so heavy and loaded somehow, so different from all the other times they spent time in each other’s company.

 

 

Sure Hyukkyu was a quiet person. Mostly due to his lack of confidence in his English skills since he couldn’t double check everything in google translate like he would when they chatted via the internet. But that is not what this silence is about Martin can sense that.

 

 

They are at some bridge now, and Martin is sure it has some pretty name but he doesn’t know it, doesn’t bother to look for a sign or something. And it doesn’t really matter in the end anyway because Hyukkyu stops abruptly. Martin almost trips over his own feet as he stops as well, turning to face the other boy. Hyukkyu is just standing there looking at his feet, twisting his fingers in front of his chest, like he’s nervous.

 

 

Martin takes a deep breath and is about to say something, about to ask what is wrong because he can’t stand this any longer, but the moment he opens his mouth Hyukkyu looks up meeting his eyes.

 

 

“Martin…” he begins and Martin tries his best to ignore the way his heart flutters at the way Hyukkyu says his name. “I want to ask…”

 

 

Martin nods quickly signaling Hyukkyu to go on who bites his lip for a moment before continuing “She said…the interviewer, she translate you…” he gestures hesitantly between himself and Martin “You said you kiss me if I was girl. You said?” he tilts his head slightly in question. He looks caught somewhere between curious and unsure and Martin can’t stop himself from blushing.

 

 

He remembers blurting out those words on camera, feeling a little cheeky and charming, high on the whole atmosphere of being at worlds. But now Hyukkyu is standing here in front of him, confronting him and suddenly Martin doesn’t feel cheeky or charming he just feels small and shy, more like the love struck teenager faced with his crush, that he is, than anything else. It’s scary.

 

 

Hyukkyu is still looking at him, waiting patiently for an answer of some sort, his gaze unwavering, so Martin decides to be honest. There is nothing wrong with it after all. It can be seen as a joke. That’s how people took it. Those words alone aren’t enough for anyone to prove anything. Not that anyone is trying to do that but sometimes Martin is a little paranoid. He wants to be honest so he answers with a short and simple “Yes.”

 

 

Easy as that. It doesn’t mean anything.

 

 

“Joke?” Hyukkyu asks looking at his hands and then back at Martin. Martin opens his mouth but closes it again the same second because he doesn’t know what to say. What is he supposed to say?

 

 

They could have just left it at that, Hyukkyu doesn’t have to inquire any further but he is and he’s looking at Martin with those dark eyes and suddenly Martin realizes that this isn’t Hyukkyu putting him in a corner, it’s him giving Martin a way out. A get out of jail free card. Just affirm it, just say it was a joke, it’s easy. Everything will be fine. Nothing will change. It was just a joke. But why is Hyukkyu asking him? He could just laugh it off, just ignore it, forget all Martin said in that interview but here he is asking Martin if it was a joke or not? He’s putting the ball (that martin didn’t even know existed until now) into Martin’s field, waiting for his move.

 

 

And Martin… Martin doesn’t know what to do with it. He wants to scream.

 

 

_What do you want from me_? he wants to ask.

 

 

_Why are you doing this?_

_Do you want it to be a joke?_

_ You _ _are the one that called me handsome._

“Martin.” Hyukkyu says, his voice urgent “Joke? Or no? Because” he points to himself “I no girl. Boy.”

 

 

He doesn’t look away this time, doesn’t allow Martin to evade his gaze. Sure, Hyukkyu is shy and even now there are a thousand different emotions visible in his eyes.

 

 

“I know. I know.” Martin says quickly. Of course Hyukkyu is no girl. He knows that and isn’t that half the problem? No. The problem is that it hasn’t stopped Martin from developing those feeling. Hyukkyu is no girl and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter at all. Boy or girl it wouldn’t change anything and it’s what got him into this mess of a situation. “I didn’t- It was just-“

 

 

_Just a joke. Just a joke. Just say it. It’s easy._ Except that it’s not. Nothing about this is easy.

 

 

Martin knows he should lie. The thing is he doesn’t want to. Not to Hyukkyu. His words trail into nothingness, it’s like there are no words left in his brain. He doesn’t know what Hyukkyu wants to hear, wants him to say.

 

 

Hyukkyu just nods at Martin’s silence. His voice is low but clear when he finally speaks. “I…kiss you. Even you being boy. Joke?”

 

 

He looks at Martin intently, cutting his breathing. He can’t believe this is real. He must have heard it wrong. This is Hyukkyu putting himself out there, this is Hyukkyu having the guts not to hide behind evasions. He’s asking ‘joke?’ Does Martin want it to be a joke? Does he want the fact that Hyukkyu would kiss him even with the both of them being boys, to be a joke?

 

“I…what? Hyu-” Martin’s brain is failing to form proper sentences or thoughts. A crazy half laugh building up in his throat.

 

 

Martin’s brain is failing to form proper sentences, proper thoughts. Everything feels kind of foggy.

 

 

It doesn’t work like this. Hyukkyu is standing there, putting so much on the table expecting Martin to do something with it, to make a choice, a choice he never even dared to think about making, never thought there was a choice at all.

 

 

“No more joke, please Martin.” Hyukkyu says, his voice fairly even but with a hint of desperation in it that might be just Martin’s imagination.

 

 

So this is it. All in? All or nothing? High risk high reward move. That’s not the way Martin plays. Never was. He always liked to think of himself as a cautious more passive player, but this is Hyukkyu, this is his chance, his choice and the thought of losing is as scary as not doing anything.

 

 

It’s him. It’s Hyukkyu. If there ever was a risk worth taking couldn’t it be this? Shouldn’t it be this?

 

 

Martin swallows, running his hand over his hair, a nervous habit. “And if it’s…” he licks his dry lips “If it’s not a joke? What if I…what if I really do want to kiss you? Right now?”

 

 

“Joke?” Hyukkyu asks again, his voice clearly shaking this time but his gaze doesn’t waver even as he has to bite his lips to stop his lips from trembling.

 

 

This is Hyukkyu being brave, Martin realizes so he makes a decision. He wants to be brave too.

 

 

“No.” he says decisively and that’s the truth. That’s finally the truth.

 

 

Hyukkyu doesn’t say anything for a few moments that seem like hours and the silence feels suffocating again. Finally Hyukkyu steps forward, reaching with his dainty hand for Martin’s collar.

 

 

Playing with the fabric, his eyes dart from Martin’s eyes to his lips and back. It makes Martin’s heart beat to his throat. They are so close, if Hyukkyu moved his hand just a little bit there’d be skin contact. The thought alone makes Martin shudder.

 

 

Only one of them needs to make a move, needs to lean in just a little bit… and god Hyukkyu’s lips look so soft. Martin really really wants to find out if they also feel that way.

 

 

“Good.” Hyukkyu whispers, the hint of a smile on his face and Martin thinks this softly spoken _‘good’_ might be his new favorite sound in the world.

 

 

Hyukkyu is tugging at Martin’s collar all so slightly but it’s undeniably there and it’s enough for Martin to gather enough courage to make the move, to lean in so close he can feel Hyukkyu’s breath on his skin. Martin is about to close his eyes and just go for it when Hyukkyu suddenly steps back bringing more than just a little space between them. It feels like the air around them shatters into a thousand pieces.

 

 

Martin stumbles back like he’s been hit. He feels so unbelievably stupid all of sudden. He doesn’t understand how he could have read the situation so wrong. Is this a joke after all?

 

 

Hyukkyu’s face doesn’t show that though, but what if Martin is just really bad at reading him? What if he fucked it up somehow?

 

 

Hyukkyu blinks a few times before reaching for Martin again, but just half way, no way close to touching “Wait.” He says softly but Martin is already frantically searching his mind for some sort of apology something to wriggle out of this situation.

 

 

“I- I’m sorry- I-“ He’s rambling now but suddenly Hyukkyu holds a finger to Martin’s lips. It’s a simple gesture but it shuts him up immediately.

 

 

Strangely enough it’s Hyukkyu who looks apologetic but in a different way.

 

 

“Not here.” Hyukkyu explains and oh, now Martin gets it and he’d like to punch himself for being so dumb. Hyukkyu is not rejecting him, is not rejecting what almost maybe would have happened just now. He’s simply more level-headed about all this than Martin. He’s actually _thinking_.

 

 

They are outside. They are out in the open. There are people walking by, there is traffic going on.

 

 

“Right.” he says quickly “People could see.”

 

 

Hyukkyu nods throwing a quick glance over his shoulder. “Illegal.” He says quietly “Boy, Boy, Singapore. Jail.”

 

 

_Oh._ Martin did not know that. He didn’t even think, about the fact that there are places on earth where his feelings for Hyukkyu or at least acting on them would be against the law. And they are in one of those places right now and Martin was mere seconds away from doing something that could screw them both over in more than one way.

 

 

“Seriously?” he asks and the way Hyukkyu just solemnly nods makes everything even more real, more severe. Sure they don’t live in Singapore but the world as whole is not really welcoming for being different, especially not in their line of work. Martin lost count of the times he’s read _faggot_ or _cocksucker_ spit as an insult in solo-queue. He never paid it much attention, never thought about it twice.

 

 

Now it’s different. Now it makes him feel sick to his stomach.

 

 

Hyukkyu gestures for Martin to follow him then. They keep walking over the bridge, closer this time, their hands almost brushing against each other but not quite. Martin wonders how it would feel to hold Hyukkyu’s hand but they can’t do that just as they can’t kiss, not here, not now.

 

 

They walk for almost ten minutes like this, not talking, quiet, but it’s different from before. It’s like the air around them is tingling with anticipation. Hyukkyu leads him down small alleys and side roads until they find themselves on one of the few rare green areas in the city of Singapore, a little secluded piece of nature, a few bushes and a small tree. There is even a bench. It feels private almost intimate, a little surreal.

 

 

“How do you know this place?” martin asks in wonder as Hyukkyu sits down on the bench that offers a view on a tiny piece of river. It feels kind of romantic and it makes Martin blush.

 

 

“Me and Dayoon looked. He want go out with team. We look city. Found this.”

 

 

“That’s so cool.” Martin says in awe but Hyukkyu just tugs at his sleeve urging him to sit down too a small smile playing on his face.

 

 

“No more talk now.” He says and Martin can’t help but smile back.

 

 

“No talk? Kiss?” he asks and Hyukkyu blushes.

 

 

“Yes kiss, please.” He doesn’t wait for Martin to initiate though; instead it’s him leaning in softly cupping Martin’s jaw pressing their lips together. It’s short and chaste but it makes sparks light up in Martin’s whole body.

 

 

He’s grinning like an idiot, when they separate but so is Hyukkyu so Martin presses their lips together again. It feels so easy, so right and not at all awkward, the way their lips move together.

 

 

It’s a day to be brave, a day to be bold so Martin licks his tongue over Hyukkyu’s bottom lip asking for entrance and Hyukkyu responds with slightly opening his mouth for Martin. And god that’s even better, the feeling of his tongue sliding against Hyukkyu’s.

 

 

He can feel Hyukkyu smiling into their kiss and he thinks that the other boy’s laughter might be his favorite taste in the world.

 

 

“What?” he asks not able to stop himself from smiling. Hyukkyu’s slim shoulders shake with silent laughter. He has his face nuzzled into the crook of Martin’s neck and the tips of his hair tickle a bit. Martin loves it.

 

 

“Bad boy Martin.” Hyukkyu giggles his face bright red “Breaking the law.”

 

 

Martin just presses a kiss to the corner of Hyukkyu’s mouth in response, causing the other byo to blush even more.

 

 

“So good kissing. Not first, no?”

 

 

Now it’s Martin’s turn to blush a little at the other boy’s words. “No.” he answers truthfully.

 

 

It feels like a life time ago, when he still went to school. League only a hobby back then, being a pro gamer nothing more than a faint dream. It was a different Martin then. 15 years old and no idea of anything. He went to a friend’s birthday party, had drunken a few beers because that’s what you do and Kjerstin from the grade above him kissed him on the front porch, her lips tasting like smoke and peach schnapps. Martin remembers thinking about how he’d much rather go back in and play another round on the table football with his friends but there was a pretty girl kissing him and she pushed his hand up her thigh and that’s okay he guessed. That’s what people did, right?

 

 

Kissing Hyukkyu is worlds apart from that. Even using the same word for it feels wrong, tainting.

 

 

“There was a girl. She was my girlfriend for two weeks.” Martin says honestly, then after a few silent moments with Hyukkyu shyly fumbling with th3e end of Martin’s sleeves Martin adds: “You? Have you…” he lets the question hang in the air because Hyukkyu has already shaken his head.

 

 

“No.” he says a cheeky smile on his face despite the blushing “Only Martin.”

 

 

It’s stupid and crazy but the thought alone and now hearing it spoken out loud makes Martin’s heart skip a beat.

 

 

“I’m your first kiss.” He says and the way Hyukkyu hides his face and nods is just too damn adorable.

 

 

He is Hyukkyu’s first kiss. He’s the only one that ever got to feel his lips, he’s the only one who knows how they taste. It gives him some kind of rush and he can’t stop himself from crashing their mouths back together.

 

 

Soon Hyukkyu’s hands are in Martin’s hair, not tugging or anything, they are just there like he doesn’t want Martin to back away, doesn’t want him to stop. The kiss grows more heated quickly this time. they are both young, somewhere between teenager and adult, it’s hard not to grow exited when you get to kiss the person you’ve been fantasizing about, have been crushing on for what feels like forever, have that person kiss you back.

 

 

Martin is so close to forgetting that they are outside, that besides it being a pretty secluded spot someone could walk “in” on them any given moment. All he can think about is Hyukkyu’s tongue in his mouth and how his hand on Hyukkyu’s waist feels so hot, how he’s itching to touch skin not just clothes.

 

 

They part for air eventually, both panting and Hyukkyu looks just as breathless as Martin feels.

 

 

“Do you…” Hyukkyu begins playing with Martin’s fingers absentmindedly. He pauses frowning in concentration “Girl Martin kissed…she…?” he gestures with his free hand towards Martin who looks at him more than a little helpless. He has no idea what Hyukkyu is trying to ask him and it must show on his face because the other boy sighs frustrated, probably more with himself than Martin. Martin would like to tell him that it’s oaky, that they have time that he’s not impatient and he understands that Hyukkyu is struggling with English and the fact that he even tries means so much to Martin. But Hyukkyu cuts him off before any of this even leaves his mouth.

 

 

There is a mix of determination and embarrassment displayed on his face when he finally asks “You and girl… did you…sex? Have sex?”

 

 

“Oh.” Martin can feel his face heating up instantly. “No.”

 

 

It’s ridiculous to feel embarrassed. It’s all kinds of stupid but he can’t look at Hyukkyu instead opting to stare at his hands. He knows the other boy won’t tease him like Enrique and Lauri do all the time. he’d be quite the hypocrite if he did anyway.

 

 

His train of thoughts gets cut off when Hyukkyu suddenly touches his jaw again, gently making him face him. There’s a tiny smile on his face before he presses their lips together again for a series of short sweet kisses that make Martin’s chest warm with happiness.

 

 

“No one can know.” Hyukkyu whispers at some point “Us. No one know.”

 

 

“No one can know about us being fumbling virgins?” Martin retorts a cheeky mischievous grin on his face.

 

 

Hyukkyu gives him a light shove, trying his best to put on an angry face but failing miserably. “No joke, Martin. Serious.”

 

 

No joke. Of course it’s not a joke. None of this is a joke in no sense of the word. Hyukkyu is right of course, what they are doing right now this undefined thing, whatever it is, whatever it could be, no one absolutely no one could ever know about it

 

 

It’s like with the first touch of their lips they started building a bomb and now the slightest mistake could make it explode any moment. It’s scary. Everything about this situation is scary but Martin made the choice to be brave, to go all in and maybe being brave goes hand in hand with being stupid sometimes.

 

 

Brave and stupid. But also serious so that is what Martin says “I am serious, Hyukkyu.” Never been more serious about anything in my entire life he adds in his mind, his heart beating so hard with sincerity he’s sure half Singapore must be able to hear it by now.

 

 

Hyukkyu looks at him, his head slightly tilted but not saying anything so Martin takes a deep breath.

 

 

“I…I like you. As in having a massive crush on you.” He confesses and it shouldn’t feel so monumental, saying those words shouldn’t feel so risky. They just kissed, he can still taste Hyukkyu on his lips and he’s at least 99% sure Hyukkyu likes him too. But this is the first time ever he felt this way about another person, the first time ever he confessed something like this.

 

 

“Crush?” Hyukkyu parrots, looking at Martin a little confused who just nods in response.

 

 

“…what?” Hyukkyu seems embarrassed at his own question and Martin’s heart sinks but then he gets it. It’s not that Hyukkyu doesn’t return his feelings because that would be more than fucking crazy after all that happened in the last half an hour. It’s Hyukkyu, Hyukkyu struggling with the vocabulary and god how Martin hates this stupid language barrier.

 

 

“I like you.” He says slowly, touch8ing his own chest and then Hyukkyu’s “Very much. I like you. I am serious. About you. About us.” He intertwines his fingers for emphasizes “You and me is serious for me.”

 

 

“Oh…” is all Hyukkyu says, a tiny smile finding its way on his lips and he raises their intertwined hands to his mouth pressing a quick kiss onto the back of Martin’s hand “Me too then. “He says. “Crush on you. Serious.”

 

 

Martin just has to kiss him then, he think he might burst if he doesn’t. Hyukkyu kisses him back with just as much enthusiasm. It’s not a movie kiss, there is no grace to it, they would have to stop smiling like idiots at each other for that. But somehow it’s still perfect.

 

 

“We have to be careful though.” Martin mumbles between kisses. “And I don’t know…” a moan escapes from his lips as Hyukkyu places a kiss on the sensitive skin of his neck “I don’t know how…this…with us can go? You in Korea and me in…” he takes in a shaky breath and for a split second his blue eyes meet Hyukkyu’s dark ones before the other boy shuts him up with his lips.

 

 

They need to talk about it. It would be the responsible thing to do, Martin is aware of that just like Hyukkyu probably knows it too, but Hyukkyu is kissing him with so much urgency there is no more space for words between them. And Martin gets it. This stolen moment belongs to just them. Here in this little piece of heaven in this foreign city, they are just two boys, just two boys kissing the one they like. For this short moment the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

 

 

“You still want to get something to eat?” Martin asks after what could have been minutes, could have been hours. “As we planned?”

 

 

“Like a date?” Hyukkyu asks making Martin grin from ear to ear.

 

 

“Yes…?” he says.

 

 

“Mh…” Hyukkyu taps his chin, making a face like he has to mull it over in his head first, weighing his options, causing Martin to playfully roll his eyes.

 

 

“Martin pays.” Hyukkyu finally says, his smile so adorable Martin has to kiss him again. He thinks he might be addicted.

 

 

***

 

 

They end up at a Korean restaurant. Martin argued that since they were in Singapore, a country neither of them had been before they should probably take the opportunity to try some local food but Hyukkyu had insisted on Korean, wanting to show Martin a piece of his home, and Martin just couldn’t say no to Hyukkyu. He just nodded and let himself be led by Hyukkyu until they finally found a place the other boy liked.

 

 

Martin doesn’t object, doesn’t point out that if they both make it out of groups they will go to Korea anyway, go there together. He doesn’t say it because he knows the chances of that happening are more than a little slim so he just tries to enjoy the moment, to memorize it all as well as he can. The cute way Hyukkyu laughs at Martin failing to use chopsticks properly, the look on his face when he almost spills his beverage on Martin’s lap.

 

 

“When in Korea…” Hyukkyu says smiling almost like he believes it “we do this again. I show Seoul. We do second date, yes?”

 

 

Martin replies with a nod “Yes, I would like that.” He says and he means it, he would like that very much he’s just not sure if it’s going to happen. He’s going to fight to his teeth and he hopes, he prays it will be enough, but it might not be.

 

 

Hyukkyu smiles, taking Martin’s hand in his under the table. “Samsung blue, Fnatic we can win. We can.”

 

 

Martin returns the smiles. He really really hopes Hyukkyu is right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to Chikabow who beta read this making sure that you guys don't have to suffer from the worst of my typing and grammar msitakes. You are a true hero <3
> 
> This was supposed to be chapter 2 of a three part series but well things happen motivation comes and goes so this is it. I hope you enjoy. Pls leave feedback.
> 
>  
> 
> I do not own any person(s) or brand(s) mentioned in this piece. This is a work of fiction and is meant to be read as such.


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